


the end of all things

by manchestereye (orphan_account)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Dan Howell, 2009 Phil Lester, Introspection, M/M, Real Life, Realistic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 01:05:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20267503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/manchestereye
Summary: events in dan's life where phil has been there for him





	the end of all things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icosmics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icosmics/gifts).

> idk i'm still trying to stave off writer's block 
> 
> in no way am i saying that this is what actually happened, a story is just a story
> 
> icosmics: luv u

2009

“i don’t want you to leave.” phil mumbles. he’s curled up next to dan, and they’re both awake, crying at 2 in the morning.

“i don’t want to leave. but i have to, and i don’t even know when i’m going to see you again.” dan says.

phil rubs dan’s back. “hopefully, you could spend christmas up here with me.”

dan doesn’t say anything and just lies there with phil. 

it’s 2009, and dan is leaving in the morning after visiting phil for the past few days. they finally broke the distance, only for dan to have to go back to his family. the past few days went by like a whirlwind.

dan’s scared. he doesn’t know what this means for them. are they going to be okay? can they handle the distance? so many thoughts are running through dan’s head, making him anxious. phil has some sort of psychic sense, and just rubs dan’s back without saying anything.

he’s never felt so  _ in love  _ before. this feeling that he has with phil, it’s much more intense than anything he’s ever felt for his past relationship. he wonders if it’s wrong to feel this way about phil, but he doesn’t care. phil makes him happy, happier than he has ever been. 

dan wishes he could stay with phil forever, and phil tells him it’s gonna happen someday. dan just pouts and says that someday isn’t soon enough. 

at the train station, they’re not crying. phil is just holding onto dan’s hand, and dan is squeezing back. they’re just there, and dan’s train is about to come by in a few minutes. 

dan wants to say something, but the words get caught in his throat. that’s when he breaks down.

“hey, it’s okay. i promise you, we’ll see each other again.” phil says, pulling dan into a warm embrace.

“distance sucks.” dan sobs.

phil kisses dan on the forehead. “i know it does, bear. but you have to be strong.” 

“i love you.”

phil just smiles and hugs dan tighter. “i love you too.”

the train arrives at that moment, and dan pulls away from phil, wiping away his tears as he gets on to the train.

phil can see him through the window, so he does a cheesy hand heart when dan’s looking back at him. 

dan does it back, and phil stays there until the train has already zoomed past. there’s no service on the train, so phil knows that these won’t send right now, but he texts dan some messages for him to see when he gets back to his hometown.

-

2012

“dan! i said i’m sorry, i didn’t know that it would turn out like this!” phil says through the closed door of dan’s bedroom. 

“go away.” 

“no, dan, we have to talk about this. you won’t listen to me!” phil says. he’s trying not to cry, but the sadness in his voice is still evident.

dan doesn’t respond, but phil could hear shuffling before the door opens. he looks at dan’s face, and it’s obvious that dan has definitely been crying. a lot.

he just hugs phil really tightly, sobbing and crying. phil rubs his back.

“i shouldn’t have reacted like that.” dan says, once he’s calmed down. “i’m sorry i’ve been fighting with you a lot.” he mumbles. they’re sitting in the lounge now.

phil gets closer to him. “no, it’s okay. i didn’t realize that glitches like these could happen.”

“i don’t like having my sexuality thrown around like that.” dan mumbles.

“and i don’t either. what do you say we should do?” phil asks.

dan just wants to cry again, because phil is so extremely thoughtful. he puts everyone else first, and dan doesn’t deserve him in the slightest. he feels awful for lashing out at phil over this, because phil is his best friend and boyfriend. 

he clears his throat before speaking. “we-we’re not gonna break up. of course not.” 

there’s a silence first before dan speaks again. “we should lay off the collabs for a while. make it known that we’re separate people. just… lay low for now.” 

phil just interlocks his hands with dan’s. “okay. i’ll respect your decision. i’ll private my old videos too.”

“no, phil, you don’t have to do that.” dan insists.

“i have to. if we’re going to lay low about this, this is how it has to happen.” phil shakes his head.

“okay. if that’s what you think.”

they’re going to get past this, dan thinks. they care about each other too much to throw this away.

-

2016

dan and phil have gotten older, and they’ve matured as well. they have a branding together, which has evolved into a gaming channel and a world tour. 

they’re at the boncas, and they’ve won two awards together tonight, and creator of the year is about to come up next. both dan and phil are nominated, along with other youtubers, but dan is hoping that phil will win. phil deserves to win, he’s been making videos for eleven years, and he deserves that recognition.

phil wins, and dan is ecstatic. he’s very happy for phil, it’s an indescribable feeling to him. dan will always support phil in his successes.

but phil surprises him that night, calling dan up on stage. he tells the audience that he’s “spent the majority of 2016 with another person.”

dan goes up there, and it takes all of his willpower not to kiss him onstage.

they’re curled up together in bed that night, like always.

“you didn’t have to invite me up on stage tonight. you deserved to have that award all for yourself.” dan says.

“dan, my branding kinda revolves around you. we’re always going to be dan  _ and  _ phil. you deserved that award just as much as i did.” phil says.

dan smiles at that. they’re perfect for each other.

-

2019

dan is sitting on the couch, holding phil’s hand as he’s about to click the upload button on his coming out video. this is a huge deal for him. he’s spent a very long time trying to make this video as perfect as he can make it. 

phil has been with him every step of the way, helping dan with the production. 

when dan clicks the button, he’s never felt more relieved. he exhales a breath he didn’t even know that he was holding, and looks over at phil.

_ they’re always going to have each other’s back, no matter what kind of obstacles they face. _

**Author's Note:**

> thanks
> 
> tumblr: sudden-sky


End file.
